Some days I really miss George Carlin.
Today, at my gas station, I was offered a blob of sugar, red food dye, preservatives and artificial flavours in the shape of a ribbon on a plastic stick. My department store wanted me to buy a nitrate and who knows what stuffed wiener in a sugar and extra gluten plus preservative laced bun, with some brightly coloured condiments that did not look like they had ever met a tomato or a mustard seed. And my neighbour wanted me to buy some pink plastic crap from Avon.
Why? The same reason in all cases. To ‘raise awareness’ of cancer. Yes, George, that’s what they said. I guess the theory is, if we all have cancer we will all be aware of it?
Sometimes it’s not just awareness they are raising. Sometimes they are raising money. For organic farms, you ask? Environmental groups? Natural health advocates? Ah, no, George. After we’ve raised so much cancer to be aware of, it’s a little late for all that. They are raising money for the pharmaceutical companies. The ones who helped bring the cancer and block research into cures. Now that you already have cancer, they will help put you out of your misery with all of the drugs they develop with your research money. For a small fee.
Rest in peace, George, master of the ridiculous. You are missed.